30 minutes of silence

I’m not mad at you. I didn’t change. I just need some peace and quiet if I’m to be pleasant for the remainder of the day. Give me a half hour, preferably in the morning, to quietly organize my thoughts and prepare for whatever ridiculous questions your are going to ask at 10am.

To better understand this need, let’s go back to the beginning. I wasn’t there, but based on my limited understanding of the subject, I think it went something like this:

In the beginning God made Adam. Adam was a cool dude, a real outdoorsman who spent his days relaxing, eating, drinking and fishing, but it wasn’t perfect. He got bored with no problems to solve in the world, so God sent him Eve to give him direction, motivation and challenge him out of complacency. Now he spent his days organizing and reorganizing the landscape, harvesting food far in advance of when he needed it and accumulating the wealth of the land in an effort to please Eve. Adam was more productive and his life was enriched, but he was growing weary and would occasionally lose his patience and question Eves judgement, which would result in less rational demands of the following week.

Recognizing the issue, Adam sought a solution. He started sending Eve out on small tasks (like picking out fruit), so he could take time to reflect on the day ahead. He found that this calmed him, but resulted in the unintended consequence of wild interpretation. Because she was so amazing, Eve couldn’t understand why Adam needed time away from her and began to question him incessantly about it:

“Are you mad at me?” (at this point anger hadn’t yet been invented)
“What’s bothering you?” ( the concept of frustration had only come about with Eve’s arrival)
“Who is she?” ( Other women hadn’t yet been invented either)

Adam never did figure out how to combat the side effects, and dealt with the frustration until the day he died.

We can’t say what questions you might ask your man, but we have worked out a solution: positive reinforcement. Communicate with your man to help him set aside this half an hour a day, either before you are up, after you go to sleep, or while you are out running errands, and notice the change in his demeanor for the remainder of the day. You don’t have to understand it, but you do need to understand its importance. Remember, we’re just trying to make you happy.


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